Everyday Randomness

Family Woes

I’m really upset with some of my extended family right now.  I have always felt a strong dislike for one of hubby’s aunts, and a slight dislike from time to time for the other, but my dislike for both has grown considerably in the past year or so.  At first I thought my feelings about them came from the information I received from other family members, but I couldn’t exactly determine what my own feelings were because I had only met both of them a couple of times.

I don’t exactly know what the issues were that caused all this, but a few years ago both basically stopped speaking to their mother.  She was living by herself a couple states away, and we all knew she had considerable health problems, so my mother in law, father in law, hubby, a friend of ours, and myself all made the 6 hour trip to load up Gramma and her belongings.  We moved her here last year so she could be close at least some family who could help her.  That’s about the time my strong dislike for the aunts started to grow.  Neither of them bothered to worry about their mother even once until they realized she had moved.  She didn’t tell either of them because she didn’t think they would care.  Their only reaction to the fact that she moved was hatred towards my mother in law for helping her own mother.

I’ve strictly made it my point to stay out of the family business that I don’t believe is fully mine to carry.  I’m just the daughter in law who hardly knows the aunts, but at this point I’m ready to explode on both of them.  Gramma’s health conditions have gotten considerably worse.  Over the past few months the load of stress put on my mother in law from having to care for Gramma has become too much to bare, and the decision was made that she’s going to have to go into assisted living.  As soon as the aunts heard this they both decided it was time to take action, and one arrived this past weekend.  I guess it was wishful thinking, but I was hoping they were both finally realizing how sick their mother is, and they thought it time to make amends, but no!

I found out last night both aunts are already planning more frequent trips to go through Gramma’s belongings and “take back gifts they gave her” as they stated it.  They even pitched a hissy fit wanting to go through my sister in law’s storage building because a few of Gramma’s boxes are stored there.  Of course my sister in law put her foot down and said they weren’t touching the storage building.  Those are her personal belongings and anything Gramma wishes to remove from that building will be removed only on her asking.

Gramma’s health may be going, but she is still capable of thinking for herself.  She is the one who made the decision to seek assisted living because of the fact she knows how stressful it is for my mother in law to have to give her around the clock care while supporting a family with a full time job.  The aunts are acting as if she’s already passed, and it’s time to divvy up the belongings.   It really makes me sick to think this is how some people treat their loved ones.

I explained to hubby that yes, it is nice to receive a few items to remember someone by when they leave us, but it’s outright ridiculous to start bickering over and dividing up someone’s personal property at a point like this.  Their main concern should be finding the best treatment for their mother.  I had a dream last night that I finally exploded on both of them, called them self centered callous bitches, and banished them from our lives.