I feel like the world’s worst Mom today.  I just can’t understand why I can’t get my daughter to sleep.

We’re still having sleep issues, and here lately they seem to only be getting worse.  Elliana has gotten to a point where she won’t sleep in her own bed at night at all.  My options are to stay up all night with her crying every single time I try to lay her down, hold her all night while she sleeps, or give up and put her in bed with me. 

Of course I normally choose the 3rd option.  If I lay down with her in my bed she’ll sleep from 10pm to 6am, but if she’s in her own bed she wakes herself up every 10 minutes or so flailing her arms wildly. 

Naptime has been different for the most part.  She normally has no problem sleeping in her own bed for naps, but the last few days she’s absolutely refused.  Today she’s woken herself up every single time I’ve tried to lay her down.

Of course it makes me feel like I’m a horrible mother because she’s screaming to the top of her lungs through complete exhaustion, but she still will not sleep.  I tried laying down on our bed with her, I tried putting her in her bouncy seat.  She slept for about 20 minutes when I put her in her swing in front of the big tv that we bought on Black Friday last year. She fell asleep watching Barney, and that’s something I vowed I’d never let her watch. I hate Barney, but I find myself doing many things I said I’d never do for the sake of her sleeping.

I’ve paced the floor with her on my shoulder.  I’ve rocked her, and the exhaustion finally got to her about 15 minutes ago.  She let me put her in her swing, but I don’t know how long she’ll stay there.  She keeps crying out in her sleep, but she’s not waking herself up this time. 

She’s never cried through her sleep like that before, so that makes me wonder if it’s her stomach bothering her today.  I gave her Mylicon earlier, and it did nothing.  I gave her Gripe Water, and that didn’t seem to help either.  I know there’s nothing else I can do, but days like this make me feel like I’m not doing my job as her mother correctly.

When we leave the house she’s a completely different baby, and we have the opposite problem.  When we’re out and about she wants to sleep the whole time.  When I take her next door to my Grandma’s she seems to instantly fall asleep and stay asleep until I take her home.

What is it about my house that keeps this child from sleeping?  It makes me wonder what in the world I’m doing wrong even though I know this is just one of those things we have to work through.  I just want my little girl to sleep.  I’d like her to sleep in her own bed, but for right now I just want her to sleep.  Period.